Sacrificing Your Career for Your Spouse

As I read, the title of the morning news topic while I ran on the treadmill, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Would you sacrifice your career for your spouse?” ran in large letters across the screen. I was

running on a treadmill in England which was my big outing from the Airbnb that day while I traveled

with my husband for work. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be unemployed

following a man around, but here I was. What baffled me about the news segment was how many

people made it seem so normal to quit your marriage instead of your career if a sacrifice was called

for. Now, I was raised by a single-mom who wanted me to be an independent woman and a dad who

wanted me to be an engineer, like him. How in the world did I end up following my husband around

Europe for his career?! And for the record, I am highly independent (to a fault) and also have an

undergraduate degree in biomedical engineering which I have literally never ever used in my actual

career. In the past week I’ve met multiple women who are taking a break from their careers to be

with their spouses while they are stationed here or moved here for their careers. Part of this is just

being a #miltitarywife, but I know plenty of other women making these types of sacrifices that don’t

have a spouse in the military. So, why is there a stigma against women (or men for that matter)

taking a break in their careers? Why does our society train us that if you are sacrificing something as

important as your career for your husband, then you must be weak or at the very least be the one

getting paid less? 

I am here to be one tiny voice against the stigma. I did not quit my job and move across the world

because I was making less than my husband and we chose his salary. I did not quit my job to start a

family. I did not quit my job because I am weak, and as an enneagram 8, I take high offense to that.

No, I quit my job with no other job lined up, because God called me to make a sacrifice in order to

keep my marriage together. When Joe and I got the call in Boston five years ago that we were being

moved to Louisiana, my boss at the time told me I should divorce him so that I could continue down

my career path. She even tried to entice me with an early promotion as if that would be enough for

me to leave my marriage. When I got married, I made a covenant vow to God that I would never

leave this man. I know that not everyone gets married for the same reasons, but I almost stopped

the treadmill in bewilderment when I read that people were actually quitting their marriages in order

to advance in their career. Why in the world did you get married in the first place? Now, if you’ve

made it this far through my rant, you may be thinking “Wow, Theresa, that’s easy for you to say, your

marriage must not be hard.” HAH! I have cried more tears in the past year due to the difficulties in

my marriage than probably any year of my life yet. Hear me please, if God calls you to sacrifice

something in your life, it doesn’t necessarily mean He is going to grant you rainbows and sunshine in

return. I chose to sacrifice my career and it is hard. My marriage is far from perfect, but it’s better

than working half a world away, or working a job that pulls me further away from my husband. 

He may make me crazy, but he is worth far more to me than any career.

Here is one thing God is teaching me through this season of sacrifice. Your identity is not your

success in your career. Your identity is not your career. Your identity is not your productivity. When

Jesus walked on this earth, He asked many of his disciples to quit their jobs and drop everything to

follow Him. I am certainly not equating my imperfect self to one of the men who walked the earth

with Jesus, but when God asks me to follow, my first act of obedience is to say yes. Regardless of

what you believe, I am praying for your marriage today! I encourage you to put it first, fight for it, and

if you don’t have anything left to give, then ask for help.

In the end, I think that God has only called me to unemployed status for a season, but I am at peace

with the fact that wherever He is leading me, it will be better than what I could have planned. What

am I doing with all my free time? I certainly think that busy people are far more productive than

people with nothing on the calendar. When not traveling or planning our next trip, I am reading the

bible, training for a half marathon, cooking, and reading my 2020 book list.

Xo, Theresa

30 Books in Year 30

Book Review of 2019

At the beginning of 2019, I set the goal of reading 30 books in celebration of the year I would turn
30 years old. Since 2016 I hadn’t had much time to read for pleasure as I was enduring MBA school
and my eyes were weary from reading case reviews and business articles. So, 2019 seemed like the
perfect time to jump into the long must-read list that had been piling up. I did however get a bit distracted
from my goal with the whole moving to another country thing, but alas, I did in fact, with a little help
from audible (which I do believe counts as reading) and a mini England retreat, complete my goal
of 30 books. Below are my favorites and the genres I would consider them.

Overall Best Read of 2019

The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton

This book was not an easy read but I do believe every American should read it. In fact, before you
read this book, you should read Just Mercy by Brian Stevenson. As a privileged white American,
I think it is important to see what other human beings in our country are dealing with and how we
can combat oppression in our nation. These two books will open your eyes.

Motivation/Self Help

Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown

Amazon lists this book under Religion & Spirituality and in Social Science Research which I don’t
know that either genre truly fits. Regardless, I personally got to meet Brene Brown in the summer
of 2018 and she signed this book and I found it incredibly motivational and informative.

Entrepreneurial Motivation

Shoe Dog by Phil Knight

If you have hopes to start a business of any kind, the odds are your future won’t look like Phil Knight’s,
the founder of Nike, but I still think this book has important lessons and I especially enjoyed learning
that even Phil Knight had a TON of uncertainty at the beginning of his career. Sorry to burst your
bubble if you think you are going to hit it big, but hey if you are reading this and someday become
the next Oprah, then throw me a bone for being part of your motivation, mmmk?!

(I listened to this book on audile and really enjoyed the narration.)

Educational/International Relations

Notes on a Foreign Country by Suzy Hansen

As someone who has never been really interested in American history, I still found this book
incredibly interesting. I have a love for the country of Turkey and it’s complicated sharing so
if you want to know more, just ask. But if you want to learn about how America has influenced
other countries of the world, this book is a good place to start.

Enneagram Lover/Personal Development

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

Ok, I know a lot of people have jumped on the enneagram train this year and I would HIGHLY
recommend this book to help you understand each number. I listened to this book on audible,
but I think it would be more beneficial to own a physical copy of this book. 

Mystery, Fiction, For Fun

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn

I read a lot of mystery and thriller fiction as entertainment. I rarely remember what happens in
these books when I put them down but I remember this one and so that has to mean it was better
than most?

Historical Fiction

Beneath A Scarlet Sky by Mark Sullivan

For Christmas this year we didn’t make it home because we just moved to Germany and
so instead traveled to Slovenia and Italy. This book is about an Italian man’s experience
during WW2 and is based off a true story. I find it incredible that we are surrounded by so much
history here in Europe and found it especially meaningful to connect with this story while traveling
to the same places that are described during the war. Regardless of whether you are heading
to Italy anytime soon, I still think it’s worth reading. 

Christian Must Read

It’s Not Supposed to be this Way by Lysa TerKeurst

I read this during a really difficult season this year and I connected to it more than any other book that I
have read in a long time. The author is so real about her experience in her marriage. If you are having
a hard time in your marriage currently I think you should read this. If you are thriving in your marriage
currently, I think you should read this. Did you catch that? I think you you should read this.

Below I've listed the rest of the 30 books that I read this year. I have nothing personally against
these books, but they aren’t super memorable and so I don’t consider them must reads, but go for it if you want! I’ve grouped them in genres if you prefer reading one type.

Fiction: 

The Turn of the Key by Ruth Ware, Still Water by Amy Stuart, Caught by Harlan Coben,

The Midnight Line by Lee Child , Missing Molly by Natalie Barelli, In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware,
The Couple Next Door by Shari Lapena, SUPER by Jon Coffey, Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson,
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, One Second After by William R. Forstchen,
Two Days Gone by Randall Silvis, The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas,
The Girl Before by J.P. Delaney, Long Road to Mercy by David Baldacci, Harry Potter and the Cursed
Child by J.K Rowling, Desperate Girls by Laura Griffin, Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty,

Where'd You go, Bernadette by Maria Semple

Memoirs:

Educated by Tara Westover, Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling (really a collection of essays not
a memoir but it's about her life).

Personal Development:

The First 90 Days by Michael D. Watkins

Books first up for 2020:

1.The Dearly Beloved by Cara Wall

2. You are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connolly

3. Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin

4. Daisy Jones & the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

5. Small Fry by Lisa Brennan-Jobs

If you have a MUST read that I should add to my 2020 list please, please, please leave a comment
below!

Xo, Theresa

Although I plan to do a lot of sharing about my travels here on my blog, my daily love is fashion and

so what better way to sum up this year and kick off the New Year than to look back over my style

trends for 2019! I find a lot of joy in incorporating new trends each year into my style and this year

did not fall short. No, I did not buy a micro bag that fits nothing but a chapstick in it  because I have

a personal rule that if the bag doesn’t fit an extra pair of shoes, than it’s not big enough for me. And I

didn’t buy a clear bag like the rest of the high fashion world did, because nobody wants to see the

crap I put in my bag! Also, while we are on the topic of trends I didn’t go for, NO I did not get tricked

into thinking that biker shorts were suitable to wear anywhere but on a bike (not even at the gym, but

I guess that’s a personal preference). Regardless, I did add a few new trends to my closet arsenal

so I am rounding them up for you here!

Bold Colors

Bright colors in my wardrobe make me seriously happy. If you know me in real life, you know I don’t

have a super bubbly personally and I am typically pretty serious, but my closet is anything but! I love

loud colors, that make you think- did she really wear that? Or, maybe I should add a little punch of

color in my life. I have never been one for pastels and so this year I was super happy to find the bold

color trend running right along with me! Not sure, how to add color into your wardrobe? Try adding

an earring or lip color that is bold to start so that it is less pressure of making a huge statement or

investment!

My current favorite bright pieces can be found here, here, and here.

Wide leg Statement Pants

The first time I put on wide leg denim this year, I was wary, but looking back over the year made me

realize that I actually dig a wide leg pant! I’ve found that denim can be a little less forgiving, so try a

thinner material if you want to try it out. Or you can do a wide leg jumpsuit, that essentially looks like

a dress with a twist. I love skirts and have way too many of them so this trend is another way to feel

a little fancy with a chic twist.

My current favorite wide leg pants can be found here, here, here and here (there are EVERYTHING).

Hats & Headbands

I have been converted to a hair accessory lover. Hats of any kind, headbands, hair clips, you name it

and I love it. It has been super fun being cold enough in Germany for hats with an actual function,

but you can catch me in a hat all summer long so this trend is not a new one. What is new is the

headband CRAZE and I’m here for it. What I love is that you can put your unstyled hair up with a

headband and look put together or pop a headband on dirty, styled hair to prolong washing it. I can

personally attest to this because I arrived to bible study with no makeup and a headband on having

done nothing else to my hair and my hair was given a compliment. Headbands = magic. 

My current favorite hats and headbands can be found here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. I told you I loved them.....

Twirly Tulle

Tulle and ruffles really hit the scene big in 2018, but the best thing about most trends is that if it’s a

super great trend, it usually comes back bigger and better than ever the following year. I feel like

tulle and me will have a lifelong friendship and what’s great about tulle is you can wear it at 5 or 50,

just ask Carrie Bradshaw. 

My current favorite tulle pieces can be found here, here, and here.

Turtlenecks

*Caveat* it is certainly easier to wear turtlenecks in my new German climate rather than the heat of

Louisiana, but I actually put on my first turtleneck this year in Alabama, so don’t discount it if you live

in the heat! Now truth be told, I struggle with a little double chin, so turtlenecks can be a tad risky (if

you want a good laugh, go google double chin gifs), but I’ve found that a big chunky sweater or

thinner fabric turtle work just fine! Maybe it’s just me but I think turtlenecks can really class up a

look. 

My current favorite turtlenecks can be found here, here, here, here, and here.

Animal Print Everything

I’ve always had a few pieces of leopard in my wardrobe as a necessary neutral but this year I feel

like the world experienced a leopard EXPLOSION. I love that animal print was not exclusively

leopard this year in fashion and there were so many new prints in the party! My favorite new addition

was snakeskin although I did restrain myself on purchasing snakeskin boots.

My current favorite animal prints can be found here, here(in multiple snakeskin colors), and here.

Utility Bags

I know I really trashed on the 2019 bag trends above, but one thing I loved about 2019 was that

bags have actually become really functional. I have made quite a few international trips and using a

belt bag/fanny pack/or tiny crossbody bag for travel has CHANGED me. I love having my passport,

ID, credit card, chapstick, and headphones so handy. I also think cute backpacks are here to stay

and I love it.

My current favorite functional bags can be found here, here, and here(SPLURGE).

Whether it was tulle, turtlenecks, functional bags, animal print, headbands and hats, or bright bold

colors, 2019 surely had so many new and old trends. I can't wait to see the new trends that pop up

in 2020!!!

XO, Theresa