The Sparkle Enthusiast

August Joseph Lingenfelter

January 22, 2021... August Joseph Lingenfelter was born at 42 weeks weighing 8 pounds 9

ounces and measuring 21.5 inches. He changed our lives forever.

Childbirth, where the minutes feel like hours, the hours feel like days and the days feel like

decades. The 36 hours of unmedicated labor that I experienced were some of the longest

hours of my life. We only spent 36 hours in the hospital after delivery and it felt like a blink

of an eye in comparison. There is something so personal about sharing your own birth story

that I hesitate to even put it out into the world, but I found that I learned so much from reading

and listening to other women’s birth stories, so it’s only fair that I share mine for others to

learn from, or if nothing else, for you to find some entertainment.

It may be the tiredness of new motherhood or it could be the ecstasy of holding my baby,

but I feel the urgency to write all of the details of my birth story down because the emotions

of the last week of my pregnancy and birth are quickly drifting away.

August's Birth Story

I’ll start off by saying only two people other than my husband and my doula told me they believed that I could actually pull off a completely unmedicated birth. For the most part I got a lot of “you should lower your expectations” and “why don’t you wait and see how you feel.” Upon reading my birth plan (the same birth plan approved by three different midwives), the doctor who saw me at my 41-week appointment told me my expectations were too high. This doctor also told me that if I waited to induce after 41 weeks then I was putting my baby in danger and increasing the risk of c-section.  After hitting 41 weeks we did everything to get the baby out...seriously, everything. Think long walks, bouncing on a birth ball, foot massages, warm baths, so SO much red raspberry leaf tea, squats, side lunges, spicy food, prenatal massages, and trips to the chiropractor. Ten days overdue, I received acupuncture for the first time which led to light contractions, but it wasn’t until the twelfth day after my due date that the real action started. 

Having tried so many things, I don’t think it was one specific thing that put me into labor

but the thing that tipped the scale was using my breast pump for nipple stimulation on

Day 12. When I started contracting around 5pm, our doula and friends recommended

I go to bed and try to rest, but I was far too excited and it was not remotely close to

bedtime. I was able to sleep for about four hours that night when the contractions became

too uncomfortable for me to stay in bed. Looking back now, I wish I could have understood

how intense the contractions would be in the end so I would have found the willpower to 

stay in bed and get more rest. I contracted with the help of Joe until my doula arrived

early Thursday morning when my contractions were about 9 minutes apart. My doula was

so kind in coming to my house to help me contract because at this point the contractions

were still pretty far apart and not nearly as intense as they would become. But, as this was

my first pregnancy, I had no context for how intense the contractions would be later on.

While my contractions were about 5 minutes apart, I utilized a TENS machine to help distract me from the pain. My contractions slowed to a stop midmorning on Thursday

and my doula indicated that although I had contracted for 16 hours, it may have just

been prodromal labor, which means that my labor could start and stop for days before

progressing through active labor and into the finale (the third stage of labor, pushing,

and birth). I was extremely discouraged at this point because it seemed like I had been

putting in a lot of work contracting only to have them slow way down. I was able to nap

and relax for a few hours before my contractions started again in the early afternoon and

by 4pm they were coming consistently every 5 minutes. Joe was such an amazing support

person during this time and he recommended we take a walk to see if we could help my

labor progress. By the time we had walked around the corner from our house, I had three

contractions so we decided to turn back! By 5 p.m. my contractions were consistently

3-4 minutes apart and by then our doula had come back to our house to labor with us.

We played worship music and Joe stood and slowly swayed standing face-to-face with

me as I waited for the next contraction. When I contracted I would hang my arms around

his neck and my doula would apply counter pressure to my hips. To keep the labor

progressing, we walked up and down the stairs.

I think everyone labors differently, but I personally did not realize how much I would

have to work to keep my contractions progressing. It was a constant mental battle

between wanting to stay comfortable and needing to contract in positions that were

uncomfortable, but alas progressing my labor. My plan had always been to labor as

long as possible at home so that I could stay comfortable and continue to be assisted

by my doula. By 6:30pm my contractions were 3 minutes apart and our doula was

recommending we head to the hospital. Hollywood often portrays women heading into

the hospital completely out of control on the way to the hospital, but our drive to the

hospital was not as bad as I had envisioned and my contractions actually slowed down

on the way there. One thing my doula reiterated was that everything needed to come out

before the baby was born and what she meant were the three P’s (puke, poop, pee).

This instruction was super helpful for Joe because he kept rejoicing with me later on in

labor when I would puke or poop because it all had to come out for us to meet our son!

I never in a million years thought I would see my husband so dang excited watching me

puke and poop, but I guess the excitement of our first son entering the world had him

rejoicing through all of my bodily functions. Our doula insisted that we not park close to

the front door at the hospital and that I should take the stairs to the second floor instead

of the elevator in order to keep my labor from slowing down. When we arrived to the L&D

unit at the military base hospital it was around 8pm. I declined the IV upon arrival and the

nurse told me I was 6 cm dilated, which was slightly disappointing because it still meant I

likely had quite a few hours of labor to trudge through and I was already tired having

labored for 28 hours at this point.

God's hand...

The next part of my birth story I give praise and thanks to God alone. There was a highly-recommended midwife at the clinic who I had met for my 38 week appointment. Everyone had raved about her in the military community so I had hoped to have the chance to deliver with her even though it is completely random based on who is working the day you arrive for delivery. At my 38-week appointment the midwife told me that she was going home for Christmas and then would have to self-isolate due to COVID for 10 days when she arrived back to Germany so she wouldn’t be back until nearly 2-weeks after my due date. The joke was on all of us because August decided to wait until I was two weeks overdue to arrive. Carly, the midwife others had recommended, was working the night we arrived at the hospital to have the baby! In that moment I felt like God was so clearly saying, “I love you and I see you.” Not only that, but there is only one room in the labor and delivery department at the military hospital that has a birthing tub and birth chair, which is the ideal room for an unmedicated delivery. I prayed for this room because honestly I didn’t know if I could do it without the extra tools and thankfully it was open and set up for me upon my arrival, hallelujah! After I was checked in, I was notified the tub was being filled and I went to our L&D room to get set up! Joe quickly unpacked the essential oils and diffuser, turned off the lights, and set out battery-powered tea light votives to help create an enjoyable environment for laboring. I quickly got in the tub and found being in the water much more comfortable. I stayed in the tub for two hours before Joe recommended (demanded?) I get out and try a different position. He had been texting with our doula while I labored and she ordered me out of the tub after two hours unless I was going to squat down or try other positions while in the tub.

While I had an amazing nurse and midwife, I really wish my doula had been able to assist me in the 8 hours I spent laboring and pushing at the hospital. Our doula was incredible at encouraging me to contract in uncomfortable, but effective positions, and I believe I wouldn’t have spent 5 additional hours contracting at the hospital which would have saved me some energy when it came time to push. After two hours I got out of the tub and really struggled to find another comfortable position for contractions. I attempted to sit on a birth ball, stood, leaned on the side of the tub, and even kneeled on the bed. The pain of the contractions towards the end of my labor was absolutely excruciating. I repeated no less than 100 times to Joe that I could not do it. I told him a few times that I would need an epidural and he lovingly replied that I could do it and would repeat back all of the reasons why I had decided that I did not want an epidural. If you ever, ever want to attempt an unmedicated birth, I highly recommend that you and your birthing partner be on the same page in understanding why you do not want medication so that when the time comes that you are asking for it, which you will, they can encourage you well. Towards the end of my labor, my memories start to get a little hazy due to my delirium, but Joe told me around 11pm I was checked and dilated to 8 cm and I started pushing around 1:30am on Friday morning. 

Pushing was a very strange, out-of-body experience for me. It was like time was standing still and I truly believed that my baby would never come out. I kept looking around thinking, all of these people are staring at me and they are going to be really let down when the baby never comes out. Other random thoughts I had were, “ Why aren’t we listening to music, that might help get me pumped up to push?!” and “I need music to motivate me, but all I have is my running playlist and I don’t know which song to pick,” and “I wish I could just get all my poop out at once instead of dropping little rabbit turds every time I push,” and “Should we listen to Taylor Swift’s song Bad Blood? But, there’s about to be a lot of blood, so that might be too ironic” and “we should listen to Beyoncé.” I stopped being able to feel contractions when I started pushing so I couldn’t tell when to “breathe in and bear down in my butt” like my midwife kept telling me, so I just would occasionally breathe in and try and see if I felt enough in my butt to start pushing. Luckily none of my irrational thoughts were true, because I did in fact push out my baby. Looking back if I had been more mentally prepared for pushing, I probably could have moved him down more efficiently and not torn in the end, but, by the time I was sitting on the birthing stool over two hours into pushing, I became really impatient and decided I was just going to push and push and push even though it felt like a bowling ball was coming out of me, he came rushing out. My midwife did a few things in the end that helped me navigate the last few pushes. First, while he was in my vaginal canal, the nurse asked if she could check and see how he moved down while I pushed to make sure he was in fact moving down. Second, when he was about an inch away from crowning, she asked if I wanted to reach down and feel his head. I’ll never forget getting to touch his head and knowing I was so close to meeting him. Joe called me his hero while I pushed and I’ve never felt greater love for him. There is something so amazing about laboring for 36 hours with your partner. I never once felt like I was doing it alone or like it was only my pain to bear. He had such an empathetic understanding of what I was enduring to bring our child into the world and he attempted to do everything he could to help comfort and support me even when I couldn’t communicate the words to tell him how. He walked with me, danced with me, encouraged me and helped me to believe I could do it even when I truly believed I couldn’t.

At 3:36 a.m. our beautiful baby boy, August Joseph, came rushing into the world caught

by his dad, while I sat in a supported squat position in the birth chair. My water broke as

he exited and there was a tidal wave of fluid that hit the floor. His cord was wrapped around

his neck and the midwife helped to navigate the cord and I pulled him close to my chest.

With the help of the nursing staff, I waddled over to the bed, holding the baby and cuddling

with him. My placenta came out quickly after and the midwife confirmed that there was

absolutely no deterioration which was a concern from him being two weeks late.

I had a second-degree tear which the midwife did use lidocaine to stitch, thank goodness!

August had meconium stuck in his airway after birth so he was taken from me to be checked

after he was born and brought back once they confirmed his airways were cleared. 

 

As I think back on what I learned through this life changing experience, I would make only a few

minor changes. I would utilize the TENS machine more effectively. The device has a lot of power to help and distract you through the pain of each contraction and I was using it on one of the lowest settings for most of my labor. I would prepare different playlist options based on my mood and play music when laboring in the hospital. I had always envisioned myself listening to music throughout my entire labor and delivery, but for some reason when we arrived at the hospital I never thought about turning any on until it was time to push and by then I was worried about ruining the mood. I would prepare more mentally with positive affirmations. My headspace was extremely negative in the last few hours of my labor and I wish I had practiced meditating on encouraging scripture to help distract me from my negativity. I would contract in more uncomfortable positions to get labor progressing more quickly. My energy level was low by the end of the delivery and it was difficult for me to stand by the end which would have been a more ideal position to push in because it would have reduced the likelihood of tearing. I would read more about preparing for pushing and positions to encourage the baby to move down more quickly. 

I am extremely thankful that my labor went smoothly and I, through the help of my husband,

doula, midwife, nurses and friends, was able to achieve the birth that I had planned and

prepared for. I am even more extremely thankful for a beautiful, healthy baby boy.

Xo, Theresa